Why your thoughts, feelings, and ideas deserve to be heard

Discover the true value of your ideas. Overcome the feeling of self-doubt, embrace your unique perspective, and recognize the worth of your insights.

*This blog is the written version of 'its not you' podcast episode #41

In the last podcast, Overcoming comparison and feeling fear of failure, I talked about...well, I talked about a lot of different things. But I'm going to focus on one aspect, and I'll tell you why in a bit.

And that is how so many people have such great information and they're not influencers. Now, I don't want to talk about the influencer, the point of the influencers.

But I want to catch you up in case you didn't listen to the last episode.
It was in the context of - because of social proof, people flock to influencers. Influencers have lots of engagement.

And because of that engagement, it gives you the illusion that they're the person to follow. This isn't about that specifically, but just hang in there for a minute.

What I pointed out was I had been listening to a fellow who has brilliant information. Very few subscribers to his YouTube channel and to be honest, I'm not even on YouTube very much. But I was looking for something very specific.

I had gone through a bunch of influencers, and none of them were jiving with me. I found this fellow, and I was just enamored with how he "got me".

He spoke in my language, finally.

I just heard another video by somebody else who is speaking on the same topic as the fellow I was speaking of. Who I also relate to, and who said the exact same thing I just said. Which is, there are so many people out there that have such good information.

And people don't hear it.

They keep flocking to the 'gurus'. And none of us want to be a guru. We're just in it to help one person.
Obviously, if one person turns into many, that is fantastic. But here's my ultimate point, which you probably didn't expect me going here.

And that is - I said last week exactly what I just heard somebody else say. But I heard it after I already had the same thought.

Meaning...

We spend how many hours a day, times that by seven days a week, and times that by 30 to 31 days a month, thinking we're stupid, calling ourselves names for having these ideas or thoughts or beliefs about things that surely nobody else has.

And every one of them are false. Because, lo and behold, somebody else has had that same thought, belief, or opinion. And not just somebody. I heard it from one person, but I've been doing this long enough to know that we're never alone in our thinking, including no matter how grotesque our thinking is.

Now, being grotesque has no part in this conversation, I just wanted you to feel a little comforted in that. So, you know, if your mind ever goes to that dark place, you're not alone.

So why does that matter and why should you care?

When I heard her say that, it brought a flood of memories back to me. And I thought, I am definitely going to make an episode about this. Because I remembered all of the times when I had great ideas and great insights and great realizations where I could see some forms of reality differently than everybody else did.

And it made sense to me. But I either did nothing with them because I was scared that they were stupid. Or I tried to do something with them and was told that they were stupid.

Only to find out years later that my brilliant ideas went to market with somebody else. Or my ahead of the curve thinking, which I ended up abandoning, went to somebody else.

Now, I'm not talking about fame and glory. I'm not saying I wanted the fame and glory, and they got it. It's not that. It's that we doubt ourselves at every turn because somebody else isn't doing it.

Well, why isn't that somebody else you?

Why do we always look to others for permission?

Or let our inner demons convince us that our ideas or that we are stupid? Even, you know, doing episodes for a podcast.

It's not easy to sit alone and talk to yourself and hope that what you're saying is resonating with people. And something I've said a million times and will continue to say is, you forget how much you know.

Until I have conversations with people, I forget how much I know. So when I go to put an episode out and I wonder, well, what would be good to talk about today? I dismiss a lot of good ideas I have because I forget that just because I know it doesn't mean everybody else knows it.

How many times have you done that? How many times have you sat there quietly and not said what you wanted to say, thinking everybody knows more than you?
Or, oh, they already know this, when maybe that one thing could have helped somebody. Let's use this analogy, as silly as it might be.

Let's say you're sitting with somebody and they have a headache and you have pills in your pocket, you know, Tylenol in your pocket And you don't want to say, well, here's Tylenol.

Because you're pretty certain that if they needed a Tylenol, they probably had their own and they would have taken it by now instead of just complaining about it. So you've got the cure in your pocket, in your purse, but you don't bother saying anything.

And then you find out later from this person that they didn't have anything and they suffered for 4 hours with it because they couldn't get out of bed to go to the store and get it. It was that bad.

Well, that's what we're doing when we withhold our information, when we stay small. You just never know when that one thing will be the right thing for somebody else. That one line, that one phrase, that one insight.

And it's also a reason why you want to forge your own path. You are an individual with your own individual thinking.
Which means you have new, different valuable ideas than everybody else. But of course, we fall into the influencers box where, well, if they're not doing it, then my idea must be stupid.

Or on the flip side of that, if it's not being done already, then it can't be done.
Point is, I can't tell you how many books. I'm not even kidding you. I've always wanted to write a book.

Not so much anymore. But because I have so many things to talk about, but I can't tell you how many books have been written where I said, holy shit, I could have written that book.

But I didn't because I thought everybody already knows this stuff. Or because somebody will think it's stupid. Or it'll never get picked up. All about me.

So underneath all that is what?

Something's wrong with me. I'm not good enough. The insecurities of putting yourself out there or not thinking you're smart enough to have a saleable idea. We are constantly, constantly selling ourselves short. If somebody doesn't like the book, they don't have to buy it.

It's not about you, it's about their preference. If somebody doesn't like what I have to say on this podcast, I'm not going to take it personal. It doesn't resonate with them. So what.

I want to tell you, and I hope you trust and believe me. You do not need permission to do anything.
You do not need permission from an influencer or anybody else to believe something and say it out loud.

You do not need permission to do something out of the norm'. Because let's be honest, in today's world, nothing is normal. So this is the perfect opportunity if you're scared to get out there and do your thing, say your thing, whatever. Nothing is normal right now.

So if you think your idea or your thoughts aren't normal. No better time than now to put them out there.
Look, at the end of the day, something is only stupid if you truly believe it's stupid. Not because your mind says it's stupid, but (mostly) because your heart's not into it.

And here's the thing.

When your heart's not into something, you go into push and pull. You go into forcing stuff. When you force stuff, it rarely works out. And that will segue into yet another topic for this one episode.

If you could go back into your mind to times when you've had experiences like I've been describing here. Where you've had either great insights or great thoughts or great, you know, maybe product or service ideas. And let them fizzle because you either thought they were stupid or you were talked out of them...

Go back in your mind to those times and you'll find your heart was invested in those ideas. It means you were out of your head. These ideas came when you were out of your head.

You were probably distracted doing something that you enjoy, and these brilliant ideas came. And it's when you get your head involved that you talk yourself out of something.
Now, again, going back to those times when these ideas came to you. That is, when you are at home with yourself. That is your truest nature, your truest you.

During those times when you're doing something fun or doing what you love, or when time is floating because you're floating, doing whatever it is you're doing. And then you get hit with all these brainstorm ideas.

If you can, go back in your mind to those times and feel the feelings of that.

Those are moments of pure clarity and pure being at home with yourself, in your truth, in your true nature.

Spend some time doing that. And then compare that, the feeling and the noticing to when you white knuckle it through life, trying to force and control the outcomes that you want.

Because that's how you were taught you're supposed to do things. Now, here's something else I want to offer. When you go back to the times when those great ideas came to you. When you were feeling peaceful and easy.

And or, you were in joy and all these great ideas came. I want you to anchor that feeling. But here's what you want to do. You want to go really deep into it, so you're really, truly feeling it.

So that feeling, on a scale of one to ten, would be at least a seven. Where you're feeling like you're right back in that moment. Then anchor it by perhaps rubbing your forefinger and your thumb together.

And rub it together, and rub it together, and rub it together as you are remembering at the peak state. So you're at at least a seven, eight, nine or ten of that feeling.

And keep that feeling in your mind.

Let it flush throughout your whole body and rub those two fingers together or whatever you want to use. When you do this and you're having a crappy day, you'll be able to go back, rub those two fingers together and it'll bring you right back to that place.

And if you do this often enough, you'll start to retrain your brain. Rewire your neural pathways to peace instead of pissed off. This is one of the easiest things you can do to go from feeling awful to feeling amazing.

And this is going to sound harsh, but it's true. If you can't take time in your day to actually find moments in your life where you felt amazing, to anchor it so you can snap yourself out of a funk, then you value pain more than pleasure. And that's on you.

Sorry, but if you're going to play the victim, you're going to need to be honest about it. And there you have it. In another episode, I said how people throughout my whole life have said, she calls a spade a spade.

There's the spade. Now, I'm not trying to be horrible, but we don't grow if we're not being told the truth.

And although this has no place here, I'm going to say it. This also applies to this gender identity nonsense. I am not going to lie and call a man a woman, period. That's lying. It's being told I must lie.

And I refuse to affirm somebody's delusion.

Because it's also lying to myself. And if I'm going to get in the habit of lying to myself to please other people, then I might as well wave the white flag and be done with it.

But I'm not going to do that because I'm a fighter. I love people. I think people are wonderful. I think people don't give themselves enough credit. I know because I've been there. I think people are warm, loving and kind.

And they just want to find peace, happiness and fulfillment.

And I promise you, through different examples and different means, I'm trying to present that to you. And I hope that I'm helping in some small way to get you to believe in and trust yourself more and step out and be your real, true self.

You have something to offer. I don't know what that is, but you do deep down inside. Now, if you just quiet your mind long enough, you'll find it.
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